Sometimes events in life propel us into a period of change. This has certainly occurred for me in the last several months with the loss of a spouse. Having gone through much of the sorrow of the ending of a phase in my life, I am reminded that life continues. In the face of a tendency to withdraw, I am reminded by the this last Saturday’s Daily Word that “My world opens up when I say yes to life, to love and to new experiences”. OK, so now I find my ego mind racing to figure out right away what that next phase in life will look like. And yet, the answers are not appearing yet. What do I want to do, where do I want to do it. I am anxious to fill the void right away with a new something.
Change is something I am not afraid of. In fact, I sometimes seek change just for change. This may take the form of manufacturing a new ground of being out of pure impatience and fear of the space between one phase of life and the next. Oh, but not so fast. Running counter to the idea that endings are followed quickly by new beginnings, author William Bridges in his book “Transitions” speaks of what he calls the “neutral zone” between endings and beginnings. Columnist Gregg Lavoy speaking about this concept says:
A neutral-zone is a holding pattern, a cocooning, a phase of life between an ending and a new beginning, and it’s easy to feel restless, rudderless and impatient, wanting to do something, imagining that nothing’s happening. But that’s not the case! A lot is going on inside a cocoon. It may not look it from the outside, but the being who’s in there is transforming from one kind of creature into an entirely other.
So I am reminded by this that I must not abort this in-between process by filling the space with what my ego thinks should be there. Rather, I need to allow for Spirit to manifest what’s next based on my true intent. If I want to “move it along”, I can spend time to go within and affirm with Spirit the revelation of that intent. It will then manifest in what comes forth next in my life. In this regard, “wanting” what’s next to reveal so earnestly requires inner work and “waiting” for it to reveal itself. A bit paradoxical you think?
