“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable.”
—David Augsburger
I had an opportunity this weekend to experience the impact of the loving listener from many different perspectives.
We had a family wedding on Saturday, and with it came some family drama. That morning, tensions were running high and family members were acting out. My niece reached out to me because her parents and sister were being “mean” to her. She was feeling judged and mistreated. I listened and let her talk. I didn’t judge her or her family, and I didn’t offer advice, except to validate her and to remind her lovingly that her family all loved each other, and if she could disengage from the negatively charged conversations and return to the energy of love, she would stop the negative momentum of the family dynamics and enjoy this important event so much more.
Later that day, I experienced my share of family drama. This time it was my son who was making me furious, and in response, let’s just say, I wasn’t in my unity consciousness. I was impatient, angry and very verbal about how he had let me down. Afterward, I felt terrible, and I knew I needed a loving listener to help me sort out my feelings, or I would have a miserable time at the wedding.
My friend lovingly helped me to see my part in the family dynamic. She helped me see where my ego consciousness had surfaced and that my emotions were part of being human. I needed to give my son and myself grace for not being perfect.
After I hung up with my friend, I lovingly listened to my own story, I prayed the Ho’oponopono prayer as my friend had suggested, and I felt the grace wash over me and my son.
The wedding was a wonderful family event with no more drama. I had been a loving listener to my niece, I had found a loving listener when I needed one, and I had learned how to be one for my son and myself.
“The world is changed by listeners.”
—A.J.Swoboda
Gina Donaldson, Board Member
