This Sunday’s service included a song “At This Table”. The lyrics in part are “At this table, everyone is welcome; At this table, everyone is seen; At this table, everybody matters…” I had a discussion with a friend who was not feeling understood by those in his life, but was unwilling to explain himself. I will admit to being critical of this decision. I was of the opinion that if you want to be understood, you have to be willing to share what you are thinking as most people are not mind readers. Communicate what you want them to know.
As usual when I get judgmental, I get a Universe lesson. In this case, NPR’s Hidden Brain came up on my podcast feed “Relationships 2.0 What Makes Relationships Thrive” and wouldn’t you know the first part of the podcast they discuss that people want to be understood. In this context it was not just about others knowing our thought process, but about being accepted. I now believe that is what my friend meant by not being understood. Not being seen and accepted for who he is. I heard that lesson again today in the song.
We all want to belong in some way. It can be hard to do that without creating a group of “others” or “outsiders”. Belonging is often defined in terms of who is in or out. We create a group around a shared identity. If you want to grow a group, you share that set of ideas and draw like-minded to you. Remember our Unity in Naperville mission statement: We are a vibrant, inclusive community for personal growing and joyful knowing of our oneness with Spirit and each other.
Inclusive, everyone is welcome. Great. Everyone is seen. Even better. With Unity in Naperville, I feel that belonging easier than with other groups I am in because of these ideas. I also recognize that my level of participation influences that as I try to interact with others.
Out in the world and from a Spiritual perspective, it can be harder to remember that oneness, that belonging. Remembering that in Spirit there are no “others”. Living free from “otherizing” people can be a challenge. I will do better at seeking to understand (back a few Sunday lessons). At this table, Everyone is welcome, Everyone is seen, Everybody matters… The perfect gift that you could bring is your heart… So come, pull up a chair. This community has a joyful knowing of our oneness with Spirit and each other.
