Curiosity Button

In a Sunday service, Rev, Kitty talked of the “Balance Between Buttons and Bliss”. I also was listening to a podcast, Mindfulness Manufacturing, and the host was speaking with Cy Wakeman. Rev. Kitty was talking about how sometimes in our interactions with others our “buttons” get pushed. We tend to then blame others for how we feel and act. Cy was discussing how the ego, in an attempt to keep us safe, will spin a story around an event and create our own suffering. One of Cy’s examples was about leading a hike for her corporate clients. She was enjoying being out in nature and was amazed that she got paid to do something so great. Then she saw something wriggly at the side of the trail a little way ahead. Her mind said “Snake!” and went from gratitude to “they don’t pay me enough to put up with this!” She went from happy with the hike to “I’m going to die”. She noted that in reality, most types of snakes will move away from human noises. She approached cautiously, got close enough to see that it was a rope someone had left behind, and everything was fine. The lesson was not to panic before finding out the truth. Yes, be cautious, but skip the story telling until you know. She marveled at how that one quick story took her joy in the moment when she was not really in immediate danger. Even if it was a real snake, there were options besides getting bitten when approached correctly. Cy says “what do you know for sure?” When there are conflicts or concerns with someone else, stay focused on only what you know for sure. Don’t start telling stories to yourself about them trying to sabotage or harm you. Approach others with grace, mercy and tolerance, then reach for curiosity. If you catch yourself looking for a story in a conflict, use curiosity and try to find out more about the situation. As Rev. Kitty noted, we are here for the challenges. If you realize a button is pushed, wire it over to a curiosity button. What do I know? What can I learn to reduce my stress about this, find out the rest of the story? What can I learn to grow in spirit? Why do a I have a button for that situation anyway? Cy suggests when folks are not doing what you want, offer what you can to the situation and issue an invitation for them to contribute. People respond better to an invitation than a lecture. There is much less resistance when we strive for understanding and everyone feels heard. Curious, right?