Cindy Blank – Jesus Talk Made Me Nervous

So this Jesus talk made me nervous, at first. I have gone through many phases in my spiritual journey, and I believe I have a way to go yet. Raised Catholic, I was taught that Jesus was both revered and holy, but to be honest, he sometimes scared the bejeezus out of me.

I confused Jesus with the version of God presented to me, sitting on a cloud, judging me for my sins. My Dad, who was raised Jewish, never went to mass with us on Sundays, and I asked him what was the difference between his religion and my mother’s religion (which automatically became my religion) and he said he believed Jesus was a human being who tried to show people how to love one another, but he was not literally the son of God. At the time, I worried my father would go to hell, but I could not reconcile his goodness with that outcome. I ended my church-going with a rebellious teenage rant and never went back. I decided in my super logical young life that religion just did not make sense. And later, when I came out as gay, my fears were unfortunately confirmed that people who talk about Jesus do not necessarily act like Jesus.

And then one day, I decided to check out Unity in Naperville because my talented wife was singing there, and I missed hearing her sing. Week after week, month after month and now year after year (has it been almost 10 years?), Kitty’s messages have cracked my wall of resistance to the world of Spirituality. I mean, now I can use words like spirituality and Jesus. This is big for me. I really appreciated Kitty bringing the idea of Jesus to the forefront. It really is not that different from what my father told me, though it is a little different. I believe we each have our own concept of God/Spirit/Source/Mystery and though we may think those concepts separate us, in reality, it connects us. It is the striving to understand, to do better, to love more, and to demonstrate our spiritual capacity as Jesus did, that will continue to connect us all.

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